Doctor After the Dentist
by Impossible Oswin
Summary: "'There's something missing in my life, Rose. Something important. Something staring me right in the face.' He pulled her unnecessarily close, leaned in, and whispered, 'My teeth.'" The Doctor's a bit loopy after getting his wisdom teeth out. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. I don't even own a clever disclaimer. **

* * *

"Rose, is this really quite necessary?" The Doctor hissed, staring down at the chairs of the waiting room.

His companion sat him down with a calming smile. "It'll be fine. It'll only take a moment."

"But why've I got to get 'em out? I like my teeth where they are in my _mouth, _thank you very much." He raised his eyebrows at her and stuck his chin in.

"Doctor, they're your _wisdom _teeth. Everyone's gotta. Honestly I can't believe you haven't till now. How old are you, a thousand?"

The Doctor frowned playfully.

"That's nine-hundred-and-_seven_," He corrected her. "And, in my defense, my planet _was_ destroyed before I had the chance."

The door squeaked open and a brief flash of panic overcame the Timelord's eyes before he masked himself in faux confidence. A nurse poked his head in.

"Um," he glanced down at his clipboard. "Appointment for... The Doctor?"

The spiky-haired man in the long coat cleared his throat, looking about ready to bolt. "Actually, you know what, I-"

"-yep, he's good," Rose interjected with a smile, pulling the Doctor up and giving him a small push forward. He shot her a glare.

"Great. Just come this way." The nurse smiled at the apprehensive man before leaning in and whispering to Rose, "Just so you know, your husband may act a bit strange after this, that's completely normal and just due to the medication."

"Oh, he's not -" Rose paused and let it slide. "Thanks."

The nurse beckoned for the Doctor to follow him.

"If I die during this," he declared to his friend on the way out. "I will be extremely dissatisfied."

The door slid shut as Rose heard him shout, "And I'm canceling that trip to Space Florida!"

* * *

She heard him before she saw him.

"Did I ever tell you," a voice boomed giddily from the hallway. "Did I ever tell you that I once accidentally married the Queen of the Frambilioxian Galaxy?"

There was a murmur in response.

"That's right. The queen! Imagine that! Oh, quite the proper royalty, she was. Then, she ruled a galaxy. An entire galaxy. She certainly got around."

The door opened as the Doctor marched in with a bandage wrapped about his grinning face. He didn't seem exhausted or in pain like the other patients had been while exiting. Just... On a bit of a Timelord-y high. The nurse looked positively scarred. "Wonder what it'd be like to own an entire galaxy? Free nibbles whenever I wanted, I s'pose."

"He's free to go now." The nurse smiled politely and left the room in a rush.

"ROSE!" The Doctor darted forward and enveloped Rose in a bear hug, thrusting her towards himself.

"I missed you so much," he babbled. "So much. I can't believe you let me go in there. There were people. With _machines. _They were trying to kill me, Rose. To _kill._" He choked.

On the brink of tears now, he felt a muffle in his chest. "Shmamshmeem."

"What was that?" The Doctor stuffed his face into the top of Rose's soft blonde hair covered head. "I don't speak gibberish. Well, not that dialect, anyway. You smell nice. Like... Like... Like not-pears. You smell like not-pears."

"Fshmi _shfae,_" Rose wiggled out of his grasp, breathing in a lungful of air. "I can't breathe."

The Doctor's eyes widened furiously. He gasped. "Oh Rassilon, Rose. I wasn't trying to kill you, I promise. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, six, seven, eight, nine, forty-two, sixty-six, supercalifragilisticexpiali-sorry."

"Alright, Doctor." She smiled at him before leading him out of the room. "Let's get you back to the T.A.R.D.I.S."

* * *

The Doctor's mouth fell open in awe as they neared the blue box.

"Wow," he breathed in wonder. "You... You are just... You are just _beautiful._"

"Oh, thanks, D-" Rose started. Her eyes fell on the Doctor's before tracing his gaze. "Ah."

He rushed towards the box, breathing it in as he had Rose earlier. "No, really. You are gorgeous. _Molto bene. _Lovely. Really. I love you. I love you so much, I... I could just kiss you."

Rose smiled politely at a passerby who averted his gaze awkwardly.

"You know what, I _will _kiss you." The Doctor planted a big kiss on the blue wooden door of the box. He paused and turned away, licking his lips with a strange look on his face.

"You, old girl, need a good wash."

Rose giggled at her friend before inserting a key into the T.A.R.D.I.S. and pushing the door open, pulling the Doctor in after her.

The Timelord stood in awe for a moment upon reaching the interior of the box. Then he turned to Rose and said, in the most natural voice as though he were simply telling her that seven times seven was forty-nine, "We are standing in a golden gold-y shower of wonderful gold happiness."

"Are we?" She raised her eyebrows at him, amused, before taking his arm. "Come on, then. Let's get you to bed. You need some rest."

"Will you be coming, too?" He appeared genuinely earnest, now.

"I'll walk you there, alright?" Rose steered her staggering friend down the hall.

She opened the door to his room and prodded him forward. "Go on, then."

Rose sat him on the bed. "Now sleep, alright? Do Timelords even sleep at all? I've never seen you..."

The Doctor tugged at her sleeve. Panic filled his eyes. "No, Rose, you can't leave me. You can't leave me by myself. You can't go back to Mickey, he's just... He's just..." He searched for the right words. "He's just a _mouse!_"

His companion laughed. "How about I just stay until you fall asleep."

"Whatever floats your T.A.R.D.I.S." He shrugged nonchalantly and sunk down into his comforter. "I'll just be here."

Rose sat down a bit awkwardly on the side of the bed. The Doctor continued to stare at up her. He gave her a small smile for a moment before conjuring a sudden look of stony clarity.

He blinked and looked away."There's something missing in my life, Rose."

She frowned at him, concerned. "What's that, Doctor?"

"Something important. Something... Something staring me right in the face." He looked up now, directly into her eyes, and tried to stand up, before toppling over.

"What's that, Doctor?" Rose reached out and helped him up, watching him carefully.

"Ah! I've got it."

He pulled her unnecessarily close, leaning by her ear and whispering, "My teeth," before collapsing into a fit of cackles.

Rose gave a sigh and gently pried the Doctor's hands off of her shirt. "You need some sleep, mate."

The Doctor gave a strange look. "'Mate?' You wanna mate? I dunno, Rose, I'm not human, I'm not sure if that's perfectly legal. But alright, if you think that'll help." He stood up and began to remove his belt.

Rose laughed nervously and shook her head. "No, 'mate.' As in _friend._ Don't... Why don't you just keep your pants on."

"Pants are constrictive. Maybe I should just not wear pants ever again." The Doctor was deep in thought.

_Is this how people normally are after the dentist? _Wondered Rose as the Doctor stared contemplatively down at his belt buckle.

"_OH, SAY CAN YOU SEE?_" The Doctor suddenly blurted out in song, and Rose gave a jump. "My teeth? 'Cause I can't. Because they're…" He paused, in mock concentration. "Oh, that's right. _Gone_."

He suddenly began to pace in a small circle and Rose backed away silently. "Where are my teeth? Where've they gone? They've been stolen. My wisdom teeth, that is. What a shame. I've lost my wise-dom. Now I'm just wise-dumb. Not even wise, though. Just dumb. Am I dumb, Rose?"

She blinked. "Um. No, you're actually quite clever."

The Doctor leapt into the air, falling with a gust of wind onto his bed. He stared up at the ceiling. "Yes. Yes, I am. I really am." Pause. "Though, now that I think about it, I wouldn't be able to see my teeth even if they _hadn't _been so viciously stolen from me. Being inside my head, and all. My head. My… Bread... Bread. Bread is good. I do like bread. Though not... _Pears_..." He began to nod off.

Rose heaved a sigh and walked over, tucking the covers above her friend before.

"Goodnight, Doctor," she whispered, planting a delicate kiss on his forehead and half-hoping he wouldn't remember when he woke up.

"Six-hundred, twenty-four thousand, and seven million-million," the Doctor replied lazily.

His companion giggled softly at the nonsense and tiptoed out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"That's the number of stars that I'd burn for you," the Doctor finished.

The disoriented Timelord sat up, searching for his friend in the dark room. His eyes unfocused and refocused on a dark blot in the corner. There she was.

"I love you, Rose," he rambled on, delirious. "I love you so mu... I'm in love with you. I am in love with you."

He frowned into the darkness. She wasn't responding.

"This is very bad," he continued. "This is very not a good thing. I shouldn't love you. But I can't help it."

The darkness in the corner of the room didn't move. The Doctor spoke drowsily now. "I love the way that you smile with your tongue between your teeth... I love the way you always know what to say... I love... I love the way your soft hair smells..." He suddenly became very serious.

"Don't tell The Doctor I said all this. He's quite afraid to tell you."

His head fell back onto the pillow and he closed his eyes, falling, finally, asleep. The chair in the corner of the room didn't move.

Somewhere, in the kitchen on the other side of the T.A.R.D.I.S., Rose was making tea.

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**Thanks for reading! Now, see that lil box below? The rectangle right there? Why don't you click it and tell me what you thought? :)**

**- Impossible Oswin**


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